Monday, October 16, 2006

Adam4Adam and Murder

Michael Sandy the nephew of "Calypso Rose" was lured to his robbery and eventual death by a chat on Adam4Adam. A4A is a gay chat site. This case isn't the first or the last of Internet robbery/beatdown attempts. One of the murderers apologized but the charges should go up to homicide, robbery and hopefully a hate crime. There are larger issues here. The depravity of the perpetrators of these crimes has power because of the larger society that perpetuates the closet. The closet makes the survivors of these hate crimes reluctant to come forward. Sadly in this case Michael did not live to see his attackers be punished. I talked to Michael a few times and he seemed like a wonderful guy. Its a shame something that shouldn't happen to anyone happened to such a nice guy.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

first off, i wanna comend u on your blog! alot of gay guys do not realize this stuff happenes on gay sites. My lover is a guy i met on adam4adam, and since i saw this blog, it gave me a chance to make my hubby a heads up on what happenes. I know i should be careful too because even though i am a gay male that has spent many many years in both jail, and prison, and i can fight VERY well. it still doesn't mean that even i could prevent anything like this from happening to even me. i am not even exempt.But it really scares me when i know of any gay men that much like my hubby are totally oblivious to the whole gay scenes BAD sides, and just are so easy to go anywhere to hook up. and these poor guys never even have a fighting chance. NOw....... I do really feel that Adam4Adam is so fucking WRONG to not at least give these guys a warning of ANY kind about this kind of stuff happening!! Come on!! how many more guys is Adam4Adam gonna let this shit happen to, and just let it go on??it just kills me inside to know that this stuff happens, and even get's me riled up inside enough to wanna go bait these assholes to give them back a little of what they r doing to these guys. but I have found out that i have a biological son that i have found out recently i have. And all i have to say is that if my son decides that he is gay later on in life, and does that whole cruising thing....... God forbid if one of these assholes ever does anything to my baby, because as god as my witness i will put a hurt on these fuckers like they have never had! and if I don't then they better hope they are in a prison no where near the California prison system, because i ill always have those ties, and will send out a "kite" to get them on the inside!! it does sound a little Brash, but honestly what father wouldn't feel like this is it ever haooens to their kid?? right? I DO NOT PARTAKE IN ANY VIOLENCE AT THIS CURRENT, AND PRESENT TIME...... But I still have that mean streak that would retaliate if either my husband, orespecially my son ever meet this fate. I think if Adam4Adam would just post a warning on the site, then maybe shit like this would not happen at all, or far more less than it does. and I know gay guys will be gay guys, and are responcible for for there own actions. But there are gay guys that r either new to the scene, and/or r just that nieve to this stuff!!!!! IT"S NOT RIGHT TO NOT WARN THESE GUYS! well, my son is asking why i am all into typing this.... hehe, thank god he is only 8 years old, and doesn't realize what i am typing still!! LOL, but thank u for your post, because i have sent it to all, and any of the gay people that i know that never have thought about this subject!!! Time to take my boy to school, and spend a quiet day with my most wonderful husband, and thank u again!

rtb said...

That article that I have just read really touches my heart in sorrow for the victims sibblings and family members. I have gone through something simular but not as horrible, my brother was murdered but we did not find out for 6 months when the body was recovered from the back bay area of the Delaware River in the Cape May County area of New Jersey. I, lost my best friend, my older brother whom I looked up to, I was just a teenager at the time and just thought he had gone off back to Oakland, CA where he had met his first girl friend in which he left her to return home to be with family. He had married and a few years later had a child and then was gone, his son only in infant. His wife never could get over it, so she decided to over dose on tranquilizers, but fortunately it wasnt until my nephew was old enough and had moved out on his own and was successful in his glass blowing business. Anyway, this unfortunate victim had a whole life ahead of him, and I really get emotional hearing of these sort of incidences because this should not have happened. So who to we blame, is it the society we live in, do we blame the parents the way this vicious murderer was raised, or do we blame the school system for not recognizing his potential criminal behavior. I wish I could come up with an answer. I can remember as a child growing up in a resort town where there probably were whore houses and opium dens and speak easy's or what ever, they were out there, more hidden but I heard as a 14yr old when I was able to work on the board walk to help out my family. I worked for one of the gaming industries trade boths and used to work the game boths that gave prizes for the ordinary vacationer who had money to spend on foolish toys, etc., on vacation, that was that era. I was never in fear of my life or of any crime in those days, we used to keep our front door unlocked. You knew just about half of our town when you had a job like that. Never heard of anything as bad as what had happened to this innocent victim. Most of us were fortunate enough to recognize to stay away from strange vacationers, we were also warned of that. But today, it seems like your everyday Joe, your typical husband, office worker, your next door neighbor, can just go about and commit such an act, it makes your really wonder. Today, what will tomorrow bring, will this sort of thing ever end or will it broaden, I hope not, for everyones sake, I really do. As a citizen in our society and former firefighter in Cape May County many years ago, what I do now, I try to be involved in my community affairs, especially in my local neighborhood, as much as I can or what time I have, now living in California. I watch out, converse with neighbors and try what I think is my part to be a helpful ordinary neighbor and enjoy what freedom that we have in our country. My sympany, my thoughts and my prayers go to him and his family, amen. (please excuse any mispelling)

Anonymous said...

I USE ADAM4ADAM & JUST STUMBLED UPON THIS BY USING GOOGLE TO TRY TO GET INTO ADAM, INSTEAD OF JUST SIGNING ON DIRECTLY. I HAD NO IDEA THIS HAD HAPPENED OR WAS HAPPENING & AM OUTRAGED THAT ADAM4ADAM WOULD NOT WANT TO PROTECT THEIR MEMBERS BY AT THE VERY LEAST GIVING THEM A WARNING THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED. I THOUGHT THEY WERE A SERVICE TO THE GAY COMMUNITY NOT A JUST FEEDING ON US FOR OUR MONEY WE BRING THEM FOR USING THE ADVERTISMENTS THAT ARE ALWAYS POPPING UP WHILE ON THE SITE. GAYS IN A MERICA HAVE IT BAD RIGHT NOW WITH ALL THE HATE OF THE BIBLE BELT & OUR RIGHT TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE & MARRY. I HAVE BEEN WITH MY PARTNER FOR 14 HAPPY YEARS & WE ARE PROFESSIONAL, EDUCATED, HARD WORKING TAX PAYING AMERICANS & WANT OUR RIGHTS & PROTECTION JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE RECEIVES. WE DON'T DO ANYTHING ANY DIFFERENT THEN THE STRIGHT WORLD & LOOK HOW THEY HAVE TREATED MARRIGE, THEY OFTEN, HATE, LIE & CHEAT ON THEIR PARTNERS & FACT: 60% OF MARRIAGES IN AMERICA END IN DIVORCE 90% OF STRIGHT MEN PULLED IN A SURVEY SAID IF THEY COULD CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES & BE ASSURED THEY WOULD NOT GET CAUGHT WOULD ACTUALLY DO IT. I KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE BECAUSE NOT ONLY ARE THEY CHEATING WITH WOMAN , THEY ARE CHEATING WITH MEN, ADAM IS LOADED WITH , "STRIGHT MEN" SEXUALITY IS NATURAL & BING BISEXUAL AND ALLOWING YOURSELF TO EXPLORE THAT SIDE IS A GOOD THING AS IT LETS ONE BE CONTENT & HAVE LOVE & PEACE IN THEIR STRIGHT RELATIONSHIP. MEN VIEW SEX DIFFERNT THEN WOMAN, MEN FEEL SEX IS PURE ENTERTAINMENT & WOMAN ATTACH EMOTIONS & MEANING TO IT, BECAUSE A GUY HAS SEX OUTSIDE HIS MARRAGE DOES NOT MEAN HE DOES NOT LOVE OR RESPECT HIS PARTNER. IT HAS BEEN A MUTUAL DECISSION BETWEEN MY PARTNER & I TO OCCASIONALLY PLAY WITH OTHER GAY GUYS. IT HAS ALWAYS INHANCED OUR EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL LIVES WITH EACH OTHER & WE FEEL VERY LUCKY TO BE OPEN MINDED ENOUGH TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMMITMENT WITH LOVE & JUST PURE WHIP IT OUT BAD BOY PLAY! AFTER ALL BOYS WILL BE BOYS STRIGHT OR GAY WE ALL LIKE TO PLAY & THIS HAS BEEN THAT WAY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME & WILL GO ON TILL THE END OF TIME REGARDLESS HOW ANYONE FELS ABOUT IT. THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT HAVING A COCK THAT IS CHEMICAL IN THE BODY THAT YOU JUST WANT TO SHARE IT WITH MORE THEN ONE PERSON. IF A GUY GETS MARRIED & THINKS THIS PERSON WILL BE HIS LAST SEXUAL PARTTNER EVER, IT IS LIKE A DEATH SENTENCE TO NOT ONLY HIS COCK BUT HIS TRIBAL NEED TO HUNT, SCREW & CONCURE REST ASSURE I'LL BE MUCH MORE CARFUL & WARN MY FRIENDS NOW ABOUT ADAM !

Nazim said...

Dreadful, the entire episode is. Being Gay myself, i can understand the kind of supression guys goes through in any society; be it a developed country or a developing one like mine (India).
Intolerance, indifference, hatred and what not!!!! What happened to Micheal had happened before to many guys and girls following their gut, instinct or heart to lead a life at tangent to the acceptable social norms.
Its a shame that the more civil we claim ourselves to be the more strains of barbarianism is being noticed in the strands of our society.
Earlier i did have my rpofiles on some gay sites but later out of choice i withdrew them, for no specific reason.
Yes, there are guys with more demanding biological necessities and these sites helps them to reach to their posts.
As discussed earlier that there should be a warning on all these sites for all its member, i am in consensus with it.
Incidence like these deserves strong reactions, however, the unfortunate aspect to its misery is that the polity makers always shy away from amending some measures in our favours.
Its a universal issue and has to be dealt with on a more broader spectrum.
I am glad that the culprits have been shown the warth of justice, i will be happy if this leaves a lesson for those who intend to get into this barbaric activities.

Anonymous said...

I was a victim of one of these crimes....Luckily I am still alive to tell the story. I met a guy on A4A, went to his house. I felt uncomfortable from the start, I sort of got the sense that I shouldn't be there. So I said the classic phrase "You know, this isn't going to work out". He proceded to take out a gun. I only had 20 bucks with me, so he took it, I didn't take my wallet in, never do. When I got home I reported it to A4A and they said unless I gave them permission to use my name, they couldn't do anything to warn other customers. Well this guy is obviously dangerous, others had reported him and A4A did nothing. That is a shame for sure.

Anonymous said...

This is indeed a very sad story and one that happens quite a lot on A4A and other places. Dispite the nice photos and chat it must always be understood that people on-line ARE unknown!!! The best way to meet new people is in a public place. ALWAYS be extremly careful of the "double" or "multiple" scenes. I know a few people who have got scammed and injured. Also, escort services offering play with a partner should be gone into very carefully. Terms used like "I can be dominate" or like "role playing" CAN be used by scammers because they can always say and show(ads)that they were only role playing or being dominate. This is only advise and not meant to persuade individuals to stop, just be carefull, especailly in these hard economic times!!! Safty FIRST in ALL situations!!!

Anonymous said...

I've had a couple of experiences with A4A myself... not nearly as bad as the aforementioned scenarios. Nonetheless, I have been toying with the idea of creating a website to basically inform others about the experiences and the individuals who have preyed upon the naivete. I welcome your ideas or thoughts.

Nazim said...

living a life on your terms is not an easy task my lady....
there is a price that one has to pay...
and hence one has to prepare oneself thoroughly beforehand to deal with situations hostile...
courage, respect to one's own orientation, belief in oneself, unity and integrity of one's character....
having said this, i also believe that one needs a strong support system in the form of their families (rarest of rare) , friends and the gay community....
above all an indomitable will to surmount all these hostile impediments....